I remember there was a time where if I had gone more than thirty hours without updating, the people in my thread were sending out rescue dogs and alerting the FBI to a kidnapping.

Anywho,

Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Attack of the Saiyans, Yamcha became akin to a physical god, the Pilaf Gang had their collective asses kicked, we recovered the final Dragon Ball, delivered them to Master Roshi for safekeeping, and then Piccolo took Gohan back to their harsh training. Today, we're going to get back to that training, so let's head out.



A new chapter means a new chapter title/anime episode screen thingy.



Despite him growing far stronger during the Dragon Ball hunt, Piccolo takes Gohan back to the same wasteland as before.



Don't give me that attitude, Mr. Green. Gohan could destroy any enemy here using nothing but his left buttcheek.



Not to take away from that, Piccolo, but I'm pretty sure both Yamcha and Krillin could make you look like a bitch of the highest order at this point. I wouldn't talk too much shit.



Unfortunately, folks, this doesn't mean that Gohan is going to actually fight Piccolo. I'm disappointed, as that would be hilarious, watching the badass reincarnation of King Piccolo getting his ass handed to him by a five year old.



See, even Gohan knows it! But, this is following the show, which doesn't account for levels in this game. I really like when gameplay and story actually mesh with each other, but doing something like a Dragon Ball game that's following a set canon, that becomes a little difficult.



Then again, we're doing a bunch of filler, including what's coming up, which isn't following the canon, and--Oh, fuck it, we're going to the Nemuria Ruins.



Yes, Nemuria Ruins!





Oh-ho, but is it really nothing, Gohan?



Not according to this introspective monologue!



No, you didn't miss an update or anything. There was some filler in a game full of filler, filler that we're unaware of. Well, it happened in filler in the anime, so if you watched that religiously, you know of it, but if you were a manga fan, you don't know shit about this place.



Jesus, there's layers upon layers of filler here; we can never probe to the bottom of the filler!



It's interesting to know that when characters do that, they're actually speaking, even if they don't realize they're doing it out loud.



Says the guy bitching about the necessary Dragon Ball hunt...





And we're off to the races!



That shit wasn't destroyable before, I don't think.



There are encounters here, but they're enemies we've encountered before. A few selections from the prior dungeons, and I won't be showing them.





I'm not sure why there are three rocks blocking this chest. One big one would have done just fine.



This sends a lot of fuck-off Lightning damage down on the enemy party, which is fitting, seeing as how it's the judgment of God. Then again, I don't think we've ever really seen Kami go ahead and drop some wrath on anyone, barring when he took over that man's body during the 21st World Martial Arts Tournament to fight Piccolo.



I know I've done a lot of research for this game when I can rattle that off without having to look it up.





This could come in handy in the future, considering there are some rare enemies coming up who drop buttloads of EXP. And if I'm going to fight the bonus boss, I'm going to need buttload upon buttload of EXP.



But we'll get there when we do. I should probably fight the final boss first, since if I beat the bonus boss first, I'm going to chump Vegeta worse than Yajirobe would chump an eclair.







This has a chance of blinding enemies with each attack. Pass.



We all know what these do, and that reminds me, I'm taking the Energy Necklace off Gohan. He no longer needs the extra 500 HP. For now, he has the Fighter's Emblem and Crest, for a +25% attack power.



And yet another rock we can't--



Gah, fuck! Don't do that!





The...Devil's Bracelet? Jesus, Piccolo, we get it, you're evil and a bad guy.





Do I even need to mention that Piccolo is saying this to someone who could beat his ass?



Eh, that's probably getting old by now. Sorry, folks. I don't mean to keep rehashing jokes, but I'm not clever enough to consistently come up with material.





And now Gohan is alone. I have no idea where Piccolo fucked off to, but I like to imagine he's relaxing in the shade, enjoying a champagne glass full of Perrier, reading the latest issue of Cosmo.







What's on your mind, Gohan?



...Oh.





Oh, fantastic, Gohan got eaten by the Sarlacc.





Well, this isn't so bad.



Consider yourself lucky your shinbones aren't lodged in your trachea.



Who honestly remembers this from the anime? I sure as hell don't.



Shit, I only know about it because I Googled it to be sure that this happened in the anime.



In all fairness, I think most of us would have. I know I would have, assuming the fall didn't kill me.



Even if it didn't, my arthritis would probably be rocking out so hard, I wouldn't be able to move and would have died, cold and alone, in a puddle of my own tears.



Anywho, we've got a bracelet to track down.



Wouldn't it have been great if we'd fallen into that part of the ruins? That really would have pissed Piccolo off.





Alright, let's get a move on.



New enemies!



When I first did this section, in my first playthrough, Gohan was level 18.



This section was so fucking difficult, it wasn't even funny.



Our Gohan is quite powerful, even a little overlevelled.



Which is why he's cornholing this vampire.



And dealing out roughly two-thirds of his 980 HP.



I think the devs expected you to use Gohan a lot, despite his piss-poor stats until level 35. You were probably supposed to know about his massive power boost, but level 35 is a hell of a long time to wait for it; I wouldn't be surprised if most people gave up on him long before that.



But, there are a lot of items around here and before here to help Gohan out.



And there isn't too far to go in here.





Though, it could be pretty damned dangerous if Gohan isn't up to snuff.





Like the 1,000 HP Mummy. That's a lot of HP if Gohan can't do very much damage, even using his strongest Ki attacks.





Unfortunately for these guys, the Gohan we have is more than enough to drop their asses like a bag of rocks.



And they give out enough EXP that Gohan is going to be gaining levels.









Another variation of Demon, this guy survives for a little longer than the other enemies.



Mostly because he can boost his Evasion.



And when an enemy boosts their Evasion, it's not some piddly little boost, either. It's like some Pokemon shit, where somehow even one stage boosted means that you're never hitting them again.



They also have lasers, like some Pokemon. However, you know what doesn't give a shit about Evasion and how high it is?



Goddamn Ultimates. 



Do you hear that? That's the sound of power flooding into a child.







Also, that thing I said about Gohan never leaving the party? I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep that going until the end of the game. I hope nobody minds.



I...I don't seem to have documented the abilities of these fellas. But he's the recolor of the Spring Guardian from waaaay back when.



With only 800 HP, Gohan is going to blitz these guys like they're Poland in World War II.





Alright, another 800 HP restorative.



Hey, is that a robot...?



Let's go check it out.



...Goddammit, Gohan, look in front of you.







Ah, there it is.



Does he look alright to you, Gohan!?



He's crushed under a ton of rubble, Gohan!





Why the hell are you talking to him? He can't hear you! He's fucking dead!



I'm glad all this scholar training has paid off for you, Gohan.



Instead of trying to find the Devil's Bracelet, we're now looking for a battery.





Well, it's definitely not down this way.



Thankfully, there are spots I haven't searched yet.





This inflicts Blind on an enemy.





Hey, it's been a while since we encountered this enemy type.



At 1,300 HP, they're fairly hardy.



They still have their goofy ass dance to raise their Attack.



Which lets them do a metric assload of damage; that's basically a quarter of Gohan's HP.



Though, holy shit, look at that EXP drop.





Well, this isn't leading to a battery.



However, it does lead to this accessory, which restores a bit of Ki each turn to whoever has it equipped.



So, some people have become confused at where to go at this point. It's understandable.



Seriously, this path isn't exactly easy to spot. From where that staircase is located, it looks like it's completely blocking the way over here and you should be able to loop around to get here.



Don't feel bad if you didn't see it at first. I know I spent a fair amount of time wandering around my first time. This time, too, until I got over my brain fart.





Though, from here, we're free to wander around until we find the battery.



Handy.







Alright, let's blast this rock and make a path.





Goddammit, game story, why you gotta fuck with what my characters can actually do?



Then again, I suppose it'd be hard to design a story that accounts for how strong your characters are and the tasks they're supposed to be engaging in. Is there a game out there like that?



This raises your auto-healing by 20%. That's not a small amount. I might put this on Tien, to help balance out the Tri-Beam.



And, yeah, the battery is over here.



Well, there aren't any other fuckin' robots around. Who the hell else would it be for?



Or he'll turn on with a robot boner for murder and you'll have to kick his ass.





I would imagine installing a robot's battery would be kind of complicated, but considering how some tech works in this world, maybe it's as complicated as changing the batteries in your TV remote.





Jesus Christ, you are one goofy looking fucker.





Hmm. I guess this robot was shut down shortly after Gohan left, and has no idea so much time has passed.



Did he dream of electric sheep?





Well, he pretty much was, Gohan. Just lookit him.



Why do your eyes glow like you're a possessed child!? 





I guess a robot won't dock you badass points for that, but I certainly am.



And we're not doing that, why, Gohan?



Sigh. I can't keep ripping on Gohan for being dumb; it's not his fault. He's just a kid. Kids are dumb, and they have every right to be.





At least this robot would be able to help us with that.



Since Gohan isn't yet able to use his super-strength or Ki blasts for story purposes, we need someone's help.



Buuut....



Oh, Christ, even the robot is padding time with dialog!



And with that question...



...We fade to black.



We come back to Piccolo, wondering where the hell Gohan is.



Is...Is that concern? Oh, Piccolo, you big softy.



But his concern will have to be put on the back burner for now, as this is the end of the update. Next time, we'll go check out Nemuria Ruins with Piccolo, so stay tuned!

Part 40 | Part 42